This morning I sat down to meditate on a particular question that was troubling me. It was completely unrelated to my sister Julie or her death, but while meditating I became incredibly emotional as images of her came up in my mind. I was shown a memory of when I went to visit her in Knoxville, and we had ordered a pizza for dinner. Her roommate, who was not home at the time, had this beautiful huge Husky named Thor, who weighed about one and half times as much as I do. We had to keep the dog inside the gate to be able to greet the pizza delivery person, so when he arrived, Julie instructed me to grab the dog by his collar and hold onto him while she paid for the pizza. As soon as she opened the gate, Thor bolted and blew past the pizza man, tossing me forward and literally leaving me in the dust. He was just too big for me to hold onto.
We loved Thor so we were worried. Plus, we knew her roommate would be furious if she came home and found out we had lost him so we immediately began a search of the neighborhood, on foot. They lived on this huge hill with a dense wooded area behind the house. My sister was not a small woman, having been overweight most of her life, so just the trek up and down the hill had her quite winded. Her weight came in handy, though, when we finally found Thor deep in the thicket behind the house, because she clutched his collar with all her might and dragged him back to the house. Finally we made it back safely behind the locked gate, all three of us panting and covered in dirt, with twigs sticking out of our hair. Thor seemed amused, wagging his tail and beaming as if to say, “Now that was a fun adventure! Huh, guys?”
I really wasn’t sure why this memory came up for me so strongly, then I felt the message: as a person who was overweight her whole life, and who struggled with alcoholism for about a third of it, life in this physical system had just overwhelmed Julie, been too much for her to hold onto. The ordeal with Thor wasn’t funny at the time but now it always makes me laugh, and I realized there was still so much more adventure for Julie beyond this physical realm. Life is an adventure for our soul, and this memory coming up was a reminder for me not to take myself so damn seriously. I had been making things hard on myself regarding that particular issue I sat down to meditate on. I decided to let that go and return to it as part of my adventure, in a spirit of “play” rather than “problem” and I am feeling better about things already.